Foster Parenting: A Gift and A Calling

By Pamela Rose Williams

“Lo, Children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” That’s what the Bible tells us and in most cases when the Lord blesses us with children we are happy and excited about raising them. But there are those times when things don’t go as planned, or a child or children are the innocents in a very unpleasant family situation. It is in these cases that Foster Parents standby, watching and waiting and willing to help the children.

Though I am not, nor ever  have been a Foster Mom, I can imagine the blessings and challenges that it brings. I say this because my daughter Candi and her husband Eric spent several years as Foster Parents. In addition to their own biological children, they saw children come and go from their home. They struggled with understanding children that were not theirs since birth and they  successfully integrated them into their family as their own for as long as it took. They believe that the true goal of fostering is “to care for them until they can get back to family”, as Candi says. Even so, they also had the open mind to be the forever home for the children, if that was the need.

I say Foster Parenting is a gift and a calling because, as Christians, though we are all called to care for the widows and orphans, not everyone can do it in this way. Not everyone is able to unconditionally love and care for children that they may only have for a few days, months or years. But then again, when you think of it, our own biological children are all “on loan” to us from the Lord, right? As believers, we love them, nurture them, teach them right from wrong and introduce them to Jesus, hoping that they will love Him and accept that precious gift of salvation that He offers to all. Then they grow up and become independent of us. But even if you are not cut out to be a foster parent, everyone can do something.

Raising Them From Birth

Sometimes a baby is brought into the foster home immediately after birth. Such is the case of one little one that was brought to Candi and Eric. He was  in their home since he was 5 days old. Imagine how he integrated into their family. He was the baby, he was the little brother, and he was this for more than a year and a half. Raising a foster child from birth is unlike taking in a five-year-old or an eight-year-old. You were the one that listened to him say his first word. You saw him take his first steps. You were the the one that was up with him all night when he struggled with an earache or teething pain. You changed possibly over 2,000 diapers. You were the one that most likely got bitten by his first little tooth. He ran to you when he had an “ouchy”. And because all of the other children in the home call you Mommy and Daddy – so did he. Still, you live with the possibility that he will be reunited with his biological family one day and you love him through it all – every day.

The Time is Near

And then comes the phone call. The baby will be leaving your home soon. That roller coaster of feelings in your heart — in your family’s heart is sickening. The time is near, but the love does not stop. Even after he leaves your home — his first home, the love will go on for years and years and this little one holds a special place in your hearts.

My Candi is not only a hardworking Mommy, she is also a gifted writer. She has written beautiful poetry and songs and several of her articles have been featured at ChristianityEveryDay.com. She wrote this song for the baby. I have heard it at least a dozen times and it continues to touch my heart. With her permission, I am happy to share it and encourage you to share as well, because I think it can be very healing for so many parents from so many diverse life circumstances.

Love You Like Goodbye (Written by Candi Allen)

Got the call today
They plan to take you away
This is the day I knew I’d dread
Though I knew it from the start
I guess I should have warned my heart

So I’ll rock you
And I’ll hold you tight
And I’ll kiss you through each tear I cry
I may not know what your future holds
But today you’re here
So I’ll love you like goodbye

The way you smile at me
Even a fool could see
You have no fear of what’s ahead
Will you still smile when we’re apart?
I wish I would have warned my heart

So I’ll rock you
And I’ll hold you tight
And I’ll kiss you through each tear I cry
I may not know what your future holds
But today you’re here
So I’ll love you like goodbye

Will you think of me
When you’re twenty-three?
The way I know I’ll think of you
Our whole lives through
I’ll hold you in my heart

So I’ll rock you
And I’ll hold you tight
And I’ll kiss you through each tear I cry
I may not know what your future holds
But today you’re here
So I’ll love you like goodbye

God be here with me
Will You help me please
I know I need to trust Your plan
You give me all I need each day
Here I am Lord here’s my heart

Lord please help me
And hold me tight
Help me trust You
Through each tear I cry
I may not know what the future holds
But I know You’re here
And You’ll help me through goodbye

Resources for Foster Parents

Candi also gave me some resources that she finds helpful for foster parenting. Take a look at what she shares:

Foster The Family

Foster the Family exists to support and encourage foster and adoptive families, mobilize and equip the community and church for foster care and adoption, and advocate for vulnerable children.

Jason Johnson|Blog

Jason is a writer and speaker who encourages families and equips churches in their foster care and adoption journeys so they can find the hope and support they need along the way.

Empowered to Connect

An online library of articles, audio and video presentations covering a wide variety of topics for adoptive and foster parents as well as ministry leaders and professionals.

Karyn Purvis Institute or Child Development

The Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development is a program of the Department of Psychology in the TCU College of Science & Engineering in Fort Worth, Texas. Their mission is research, education, training, and outreach to improve the lives of children who have experienced abuse, neglect, and/or trauma. Their research and interventions are empowering parents, professionals, and students with trauma-informed strategies that improve outcomes for children and youth.

Disclaimer – The resources in this post are not specifically endorsed by Christianity Every Day, they are merely listed so that you might research and check them out yourself as possible sources of help.